Marriages are considered sacred in most societies, and especially so in the tradition-steeped continent of Africa. African weddings usually involve not just the coming together of the couple in question, but their extended families and sometimes entire communities, although traditions vary vastly across the continent. Traditional marriage practices in South Africa involve the customs of lobola and polygamy.
Lobola: According to this ancient tradition, a man must pay a price to acquire the right to marry a woman. The practice continues to be followed extensively in contemporary African societies. Lobola involves a complex, formal process of negotiation between the families of the bride and groom amid great ceremony, to arrive at a consensus on the price (traditionally paid in number of cows) that the groom must pay the bride’s family.
Many modern couples opt for cash instead of cows for the sake of convenience. This money can be used to help the bride set up her home; however, this is something that happens very rarely.
Surprisingly, African customary law has advocates even among modern, educated women in South Africa, many of whom believe that it provides them protection without hindering them in any significant way. In fact, women’s rights activists were among the greatest proponents of a new law enacted in 2001 which recognises African customary law, in order to protect women living in common-law unions and their children. Payment of the lobola, however, means that the bride is paid for, and a divorce is not usually granted unless the bride’s family can repay the amount.
Often, the lack of the means for repayment may force women to stay in unhappy or abusive marriages. Although customary laws enjoy predominance over constitutional rights in several African countries, South Africa accords women strong constitutional protection.
Polygamy: The same law of 2001, distasteful as it may seem to most modern women in other parts of the world, also recognises polygamy – even though it is something that fewer and fewer modern South Africans practice. However, South African President Jacob Zuma’s recent marriage for the fifth time has reignited discussion on the topic.
While the press has been rather indulgent, there is open disapproval from some quarters. South Africa’s AIDS scourge is attributed largely to sexual promiscuity, and the President’s example complicates the process of educating the public on the importance of single-partner sexual relationships in preventing the spread of the disease.
In affirming gender equality as fundamental to South African democracy, the Constitution states that should there be a contradiction between customary law and the Bill of Rights, the latter should take precedence.
The practice of polygamy is in essence the practice of gender inequality. While all customary marriages are required to be registered to ensure that each wife in a polygamous family has an equal right to property, this still does not address the issues of neglect, or the transmission of infections that polygamy may entail.
White South Africans are more vocally disparaging of the practice, especially so of the President’s antics. Besides, in a country where only half the population is female, the acquisition by a man of five or more women is also likely to create social imbalances by denying other eligible men partners. They however of course will buy engagement rings for example contining with their more western wedding traditions.
Image source: Media Club South Africa
Also see:
Polygamy is way for husband to cheat on his wife
Bride Price – An Alternative View Point
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Hi there I need an opinion,I'm married to this man and we are very happy in our marriage. we got married in home affairs and yet want to negotiate lobola with my family and to dress as makoti so now I want to findout if I can dress as makoti though he's not a xhosa man?.
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lobola
hi please help i a have been with this man for 3yrs and he paid lobola in 2011 but not in full not the begining of 2013 broke up because he cheated some of the the things i paid for are still at his house what are my rights if i have any
re:
you have to go and get your things, they are yours and have nothing to do with him
Lobola
Hi I'm with and pregnant for a Zimbabwean guy I'm Caribbean. We met on the cruise ship .however, he paid part Lobola for his son's mother over a year ago before she broke up wit him she left him and they have been away for over a year. Since he is home on vacation his elders said he should try make tings work with his son's mother and they have asked her to move back in. He is very unhappy now , we are expecting our first baby together. He loves me. Wat can he do to leave without disrespecting his family. He is afraid to tell them about me and the baby. I'm 27 and he is 30
Caribbean woman
Your man has no choice by the look of things.He must come clean.If he really love and want to be with you,he must tell his parents the truth.For how long is your man going to keep this as a secrete?Soon the baby will be born.Do the right thing fella,come clean.Should you go back brother,you stand another chance of being disappointed by the same woman.Your heart is with the beautiful caribbean woman.You are blessed
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Your man has no choice by the look of things.He must come clean.If he really love and want to be with you,he must tell his parents the truth.For how long is your man going to keep this as a secrete?Soon the baby will be born.Do the right thing fella,come clean.Should you go back brother,you stand another chance of being disappointed by the same woman.Your heart is with the beautiful caribbean woman.You are blessed
lobola
hi please help i a have been with this man for 3yrs and he paid lobola in 2011 but not in full not the begining of 2013 broke up because he cheated some of the the things i paid for are still at his house what are my rights if i have any
Lobola
Hi I'm with and pregnant for a Zimbabwean guy I'm Caribbean. We met on the ship. However he paid part lobola for his son's mother ove a year ago before she broke up wit hm shed left ad they hv been away for over a year. Since he is home in vacay his elders said he shud try make tings work with hs sns mother and they have asked her t move back in. He is very n happy now , we r expctng our first baby together. He loves me. Wat can he do without disrespecting his family. He is afraid to tell them about me.
lobola
hi please help i a have been with this man for 3yrs and he paid lobola in 2011 but not in full not the begining of 2013 broke up because he cheated some of the the things i paid for are still at his house what are my rights if i have any
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lobola
"Payment of the lobola, however, means that the bride is paid for, and a divorce is not usually granted unless the bride’s family can repay the amount."
this is false. lobola is not refundable, the customary marriage act states that. check your sources next time
your wrong
this statement is true may be you are not African. go and ask
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Labola
Can labola be recognised as a fixed once-off payment for a sex slave?
lobola
thats such an absurd wae to put it..
Can labola be recognised as a fixed once-off payment for a sex s
no, labolo forms part of customary law and although is rooted in African Law it vests the woman with equal rights as her husband thus separating the custom from slavery, furthermore, it makes provisions for divorce.
Vat en Sit
if a woman stays with a woman for more than three is she recognized as your wife in our SA law?
silly
what do you mean a woman stays with a woman this culture doesn't exist in our continent
if there are no lobola
if there are no lobola payments and the celebration ceremony (introduction of the bride to the groom's family) depending on the culture, its just cohabitation. In customary law, there has to be a celebration ceremony for it to be considered a marriage
Ilobolo
What will happen if a man did get maried without paying ilobolo? Plz hlp me guys
his the real guy then
his the real guy then
Lobola
What do you mean when you say if a man does not pay lobola is a real guy?, because paying lobola is a way of bringing the two families together, fostering mutual respect and indicating that the man is capable of supporting his wife financialy and by paying lobola the man is showing respect to the family of the wife,and the man who don't pay lobola are the ones who devorce the most because they have nothing to loose.
Lobolo
If a customary marriage is concluded without following tribal traditions then it isn't legally valid.
it is determined by the
it is determined by the culture of the lady that you are marrying.
question
Looking for some info pls! I have a friend who is a Muslim male from West Africa. He wants to marry a Zulu woman who is a Christian and already has 2 kids. Her parents have said he needs to pay 50k labola. Is this so? I think its ridiculous. Please help.
yes
he must pay after all he is muslim. a woman for them like shirt they change any time, by pay this amount he will be more responsible.
yes the brides family have
yes the brides family have the right to charge whatever amount they want...
NO WAYS
THIS IS BULSHIT NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO PAY THAT MUCH THERE IS STILL LIFE AHEAD AFTER MARRIGE
Lobolo
With regard to lobolo, traditionally it was an important requirement for the formation of a valid customary marriage in the form of cattle and then cash or kind. However nowadays when determining whether a customary marriage has validly been concluded the courts have not required a full transfer of all the lobolo agreed upon. What has been required is that the family of the bride has reached an agreement with the groom or his family concerning the amount of lobolo to be transferred.
Quaestion answered
It is only necessary to pay labola if the pair look to conclude a customary marriage (polygynous). If he and his bride agree that the labolo need not be paid then they can conclude a civil marriage in terms of the Marriage Act.
lobola
Do you think it is stil worthy for the bridegroom to pay lobola today? Explain
lobola
No like my parents passed away and I'm left with sibling to raise and my boy friend is helping me financially he is paying for courses!he wants to pay lobola!